PIGSVILLE - THE FOUL FLAVOUR

Before teeing off - or whatever appropriate colloquialism - with the rant I first wrote, I want to give some kudos, where kudos are due. I, like many with me dislikes nazis. I, like f ew with me, have a keen interest in the computer underground. There is one thing, though, that I've wanted to see for a while, and that is political hacks. One might argue that all hacks are political per definition, but I don't think I agree with that.

There has always been a few doing these things. As of late, a massive coalition of hacker groups have made a joint statement threatening China and the Afghani Talibans, among others. A year or two ago, Portuguese hacker group Urban Kaos hacked at least 40 Indonesian sites - including the state police - in protest against the atrocities commited against the people of East Timor.

What's happening here? The hackers are going all Bertrand Russell and Noam Chomsky on us, or what? As of late, more secretive groups than the ones behind the statement above (¡Hispahac k, Pulhas, Chaos Computer Club, the hactic/Rop Gongrijp posse, Phrack, L0pht Heavy Industries and Cult of the Dead Cow) has done some fun hacks. HARP (Hackers Against Racial Parties) and OLM has recently hacked Ku Klux Klan and WhitePride.com. On the Ku K lux Klan site, this was the main message: "Your Webpage And All Accounts Associated With It Have Been Compromised, And Deleted, For Crimes Against The Human Race, by S C R E A M of the OLM (OnLine Mafia) and H.A.R.P (Hackers Against Racial Parties)&q uot;

On the other hand, hackers hack Greenpeace, The Human Rights page and the UN too. All to free Mitnick. Yawn. Kudos to the politicals. Hack the fuck out of the bigots, but please do something interesting with the pages, instead of filling them with insipid d00dz-talk. "Mussolini may have invented it, Hitler may have made the best of it so far, but NOONE does fascism like good ole U.S. of A.", in the words of Howard Chaykin.

ONWARD WITH THE REAL TOPIC:

First the Swinging 20s. Later, the roaring 40s. But currently: the whimpering 30s. I am 31 years old. In the picture above, I was 5. In November I'm going to be 32. You know, this is a pretty desperate period, transitional at least. 30s. I'm single, dig? No children. Not really grown up. No girlfriend, not in that way anyway. A prospect of living alone for quite some time, suspected of weirdness and/or homosexuality. That's deep fucki ng shit.

At the same time, I know it's not true. I'm smarter. I earn more money. I hope to get more of my beginning crow's feet. I've shaved my head, making it all the more obvious that I'm going the way of Burt Reynolds and William Shatner. As with many guys my age, health suddenly becomes an issue. I play some indoor hockey, I bike and I take walks, but not much. I'm slim, but I have a slight potbelly, visible when I do the full fucking monty, as i t were. As if anyone'd notice. I have some moles on various parts of my body. On my left shoulder, there is a mole with a single strand of hair on it.

Sometimes my body ache, not in a nice, after training kinda ache, but a tug in my bones, as from that grave we all aspire to. It's not so bad now as it was a year or so ago. I've come to ter ms with myself, at least most of the time. Hugging, though, becomes an issue more pressing for every day that goes by. But I ain't really depressed, desperate or bitter.

But there're some things I wish. I wish there were more girls who like guys like me. Most girls I've ever been interested in has had a penchant for those lanky, gaunt, angular jawed guys. Th e ones who step out of a Greg Araki or Richard Kern movie. The ones on stage. The ones brooding over a paper filled with insipid poetry about roughing it on the streets. The ones who make the ladies swoon. Hot beef injection city! I'm almost sounding like one of those boys now, ain't I? Just the looks are missing.

Sure, sure, It'd be highly unfair to say that there's nothing to those guys but looks. I'm just so damn jealous. I'm no artist. No musician. No actor. Et cetera. But I sure wish there were m ore cool female rock musicians for me to pine over. I've had a few faves over the years. Man, how I dug Cramps during "My Date With Elvis". I mean, Poison Ivy's always been a righteous vixen, but Candy Del Mar took the prize. Many a masturbatory fantasy about her passed thru my head back then. With her fuck off smile, her attitude, looks and bass, she ruled!

"Your kiss so sweet, your sweat so sour/Sometimes I think I love you, but I know it's only lust", sings Gang of Four on my stereo, right now. Other music girls I've had the hots fo r: Sheila E., Laurie Anderson, PJ Harvey, Li'l Kim, Diamanda Galas, Kim Gordon, the girl who sings in Murder City Devils, Buffalo Daughter, Cibo Matto, glorious Cristina Martinez of Pussy Galore and Boss Hog, Laetitia Sadler of Stereolab and all three of TLC.

My most recent fave music girl, tho, is Cat Power aka Chan Marshall, multitalented, intriguing, mysterious. She reminds me of my ideal woman, Maya Deren.

Maya Deren was born in Kiev, Russia, in 1917. Early on, her parents emigrated to the US. She went to Syracuse University, and became a sociopolitical activist in her teens. She became interested in dance, and then in documenting dance in a series of highly acclaimed avant garde movies. During the 50s, she became one of the most influential experimental film makers ever.

In 1947 she travelled to Haiti, to film native dances, voodoo/voudoun ritualistic stuff of legends. She wrote one of the best books ever on voudoun, "Divine Horsemen", in 1953, a m ust read for anyone. Spellbinding stuff. Inspired and brilliant, "Divine Horsemen" reads like a thriller, a journey into religious mysteries rarely surpassed. She was beautiful, too. She died 44 years old, in 1961. I'd have loved to meet her.

How did I get here? My ramblings are disparate, I notice. Originating in the pain of being in my 30s and alone I came here. Once again idolizing, putting on pedestals those I can never have. I feel fine. I feel close to great. I just wish I could stop being such a godawful miser. I've said it before, but never done anything about it. I wish I was a star. Notice me!

Other stuff: soon there is a Make Up concert here. Soon Steve Earle is gonna play. Maybe I'm gonna go see Frank Black in a while. Problem is meeting a girl in those places, the guys usually outnumber the girls 10 to 1. It takes a lot to get noticed then. Maybe I should go to other places. Maybe work up an ulcer or something, meeting a nurse giving me a colostomy. Self-mutilation is always a neat option. Oh well. Now I'm gonna play that new H ammond me and pal Martin bought the other day. Yo, check me out. I'm a rock star in my own home.

Star light
Star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight.

Cheerio, me ducks;)

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